Yesterday Jeff and I had a couple of his friends over for dinner (fruit salad, chili, and apple cobbler), and it was nice, except that I found myself oddly dissatisfied with the evening. It took me a little while to figure out why, but it comes down to manners. I don't mean to imply that his friends are rude, because they're not. They're very nice and considerate people. It's just that I had some subconscious expectations about polite behavior when one goes to dinner at someone else's house, and they were completely ignorant of those expectations.
It's not their fault that they didn't know. I mean, if your family doesn't observe the convention of placing the cook closest to the kitchen, how would you know that I have that expectation? They were perfectly willing to switch around when I expressed my desire not to have to run around the table every time I had to get something from the kitchen. I think my big failing was that I didn't guide them where I wanted them to be. If I wanted them to sit in certain spots, I should have assigned places more clearly. Now I just have to figure out how to make it easy for people to be polite in the ways that I would like them to be.
Ai Ling says:
Was it by mere chance/accident then, that when I came over this summer you got the chair by the kitchen? I'm not sure. Maybe Jeff did some placing . . . ?
Jeff says:
Chance/Accident. I was in on the chair-by-the-door thing the same amount both times. By that, I mean I didn't know at all (being as clueless as Charley).
Jeff