Some things I understand, like why I cut my finger while chopping up onions today (wasn't thinking properly and stuck my finger where I shouldn't have). Some things I don't, like why that driver this morning... but I'll start from the beginning.
I was on my way to Braille class this morning. I waited for the "walk" sign, then started crossing the street. As I crossed, I watched a woman in a silver-colored car pull slowly out into the street and then creep towards the intersection, never once looking in my direction. I thought "Oh, she'll stop at the painted line," but she didn't. Then I thought "Oh, she's just going to park nearer the corner. That's weird, but okay" — but she didn't. She just kept creeping forward until she was solidly across the crosswalk. This was just about when I had reached that side of the street, and I planned simply to pass behind the car, but finally she turned her head and saw me. She smiled embarrassedly (I think) and reversed back off the crosswalk, so I looked at her as I passed by the driver's side of the car (kind of wondering what was up with her). Then, to my shock, she muttered, in the tone reserved for the most scathing of insults, "Bitch." As I stared at her through the windshield, it looked kind of like she was still smiling, but I could be wrong, and I know I didn't imagine the insult. I'm not in the habit of taking random offense.
I'm not offended; although I was truly shocked the first time someone ever called me a bitch (in seventh grade French class, if you must know), my host mother Martine liked to call me ma biche,
which is a term of affection which literally means my doe
but sounds an awful lot like you-know-what. I was always slightly jumpy when she said that, but now I have kind of the reverse connotation, which is really cool. In any case, I'm really not affected by insults from a complete stranger, since I don't know them enough to have respect for them. (I don't disrespect them. I have neutral respect, and then it goes down from there when they insult me.) I'm just perplexed by this interaction, because I don't understand what her motivation was. I can think of a few possible explanations:
- She saw something in my brief casual wondering-if-she-was-crazy look that she interpreted as hostility or rudeness or whatever. I definitely didn't intend it that way.
- She was just having a really bad morning, and I rubbed her the wrong way. May be combined with option (a).
- ???
I wish I had access to her perspective, because I know I'm painting a very one-sided picture. If anyone has any insights, I'd like to hear them.
Post a comment